I saw Psycho on the big screen for the first time today. I love vintage movies and especially Hitchcock so it was a treat. And damn creepy. And yes, that high-strung violin music is stuck in my head.
I love a good, well-crafted suspense story. Of all the different story genres it is the one that most involves the audience. It keeps you guessing and you have to stick around to see if you were right. Then there’s the pay-off at the end when you finally find out what the hell was really going on. The whole time you’re watching you are have doubts that you what you were seeing is real or true. It reminds me of my favorite definition of doubt:
If you are seeking success you will have to encounter doubt at some point. This is fun for a two hour movie but not when it comes to life. Too often this is how we are about our dreams and goals - unsure. Like the song we are wishing and hoping and thinking and praying. But not following-up with any real action.
Jesus, with disappointment, addressed Thomas’ statement that he had to touch Jesus’ wounds before he believed with. Why did he not accept it until it was right in front of him? Why could he not accept the statements of his friends? We are guilty of the same in our lives. Why do we do this, even when others believe for us? Why is it so hard to accept that we can actually climb Mt Everest, lose the 50lbs of weight that has been nagging us, or keep the kitchen clean for more than a day. You know, hard to believe stuff.
Doubt is tricky; much trickier, and different, than simple unbelief. It’s not that we don’t believe our dreams can happen. It’s that we don’t believe it can happen for us.
Doubt is basically unacceptance.
Well, in order to accept, we have to make room for new information. And in order to make room for new information we have to change. We have to think differently. We have to get out of our comfort zone.
Our doubtful train of thought goes something like this:
Should I be wanting this? I shouldn’t be wanting this. But…No, I shouldn’t even be thinking this. It’s so silly. I’m silly. I don’t have [INSERT WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU LACK] and then I have [INSERT WHATEVER YOU THINK IS IN YOUR WAY]. Better wake up…get back to the real world. I’m so glad I came back to my senses. Phew!!
And then we live unfulfilled but dependable daily lives. Doubt is comfortable. It actually brings relief because you don’t have to do anything out of the ordinary. It’s our favorite reading chair, or fried chicken and mash potatoes in a Chicago winter. It’s the Snuggie that Grandma bought us that we pretend to hate because we were too ashamed to be caught dead in it.
Doubt is a brightly colored blanket with arms.
More than that, it’s the brightly colored blanket with arms, snacks, a telephone, a laptop, television and a portapotti– we never have to go far and need to make only the most minimum of movements.
Imagine while you are enjoying your Snuggie warmth the temperature rises to 100 degrees and the a/c breaks down. It’s no longer cozy, is it? It’s now heavy, clingy, balmy, and…unbearable. It’s hitting the hitting the floor in seconds.
That rising heat – let’s call it Passion. A life of doubt needs the heat turned up. It needs a fire lit under its backside. It needs to feel like life is no longer cozy but a bit heavy, balmy, maybe even unbearable. A change is due. Passion tells you there’s another option, a surprisingly better way to live.
Passion for what you believe in and want to achieve is what is needed to conquer doubt.
And don’t act like have no passion, not heat. It’s what you believe in. It’s what excites you. It’s not what you should be wanting. It’s what you are, pure and simple. You have a whole list of why you should dream this and why you shouldn’t want that for yourself. Yet it still won’t go away.
Give yourself permission to go there, that there where your real desires live. Turn up the heat in your heart. This will give you strength and that help drive out your insecurity.
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